Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
