And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
