fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
