1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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