no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
