If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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