You made me cry and you don't even care
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
