So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize