The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
