The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
