I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
wow bdsm is so cute
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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