1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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