Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
