Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
