So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
