Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
