The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
