You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize