Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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