you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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