the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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