And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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