How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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