She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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