from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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