Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
