If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
