hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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