I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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