Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
