We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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