i love accidental penises.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
