with your own penis?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
