Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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