her vagine was all disorganized.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
there is puke in my bra ... again
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