i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
