Already got asked if we're dating
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
