Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
