And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
