Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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