i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
