We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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