OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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