Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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