Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
