I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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