We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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