its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
