wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Randomize
