I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
It's like God shit irony all over that family
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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