this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
