ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
